Interesting....

So today was interesting as I had an encounter!  I was wondering if he was trying to tell me his feelings discreetly?  Luckily he had an obligation so he had to leave me, and then I am left questioning his reaction; thinkg about it all day.  So, I just wait, he will have to seek me in a few.  He can't hide from me or fate and it just may take its course in a few.  OMG do you know what that means? Nope, and I don't have time to tell you, but he is the center of me and everything that I desire.  Can this really be?  When distance is no longer a factor...will he come back to me?  I don't even know how to feel...Can this be?  I have to ask again because I am so excited about the possibility to.  But for what it's worth, if it is never to be, I will still bask in what we have and no one knows me better than he!  This is great.  Time has a wonderful way of making my life journey great...

To be continued...

Writer's Block AVALIABLE NOW

PLEASE CHECK OUT MY STOREFRONT TO GET YOUR COPY www.lulu.com/audreyannagarrett!

One Love,

A

PRESS RELEASE FOR WRITER'S BLOCK

Pearland, Texas 77584

Phone (713) 834-4964

Press Release

Contact: Audreyanna Garrett
Phone: (713) 834-4964

12 A.M. CST, December 1, 2009

WRITER’S BLOCK RELEASE


HOUSTON, TEXAS, DECEMBER 1, 2009: Audreyanna Garrett’s “Writer's Block” is the sequel to Diary In Reverse, release previously this year. Garrett composed this conclusion to the very passionate and heartfelt “Diary In Reverse”, in which she exposes an ex-relationship through poetry and verse. She captures her attempt to move forward from the past feelings associated with a previous relationship.

“In Writer's Block I ask readers to come and take a stroll with me, to experience me on the streets and blocks of life…” Garrett’s book will be released on December 1, 2009.

For more information, contact Audreyanna Garrett at audreyannagarrett@gmail.com.


“I leave pieces of him, of our story, behind on each block and each street I encounter. I give you my Writer's Block literally...”

Happy Thanksgiving

All,

I am wishing everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving. Be blessed and be safe this holiday season.

Remember you are here, alive and breathing this day and some are not.

You are blessed and you are loved.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

The Vocalist

I hear her
Inside
Yelling
To the top of her lungs
She wants you to hear too
She wants to sing to you
But the outer layer
Overpowers
And in
She remains
Unless he can play the key
That moves
She needs that beat
That bass
That makes
Them one
And then
She allows she to be
Can't fight harmony
It moves

Can you hear?
She may let you
Although she is so loud
I can hear
I can feel
I do not know if my heart can keep it in too
Let's rethink this

Let her be
The blood that populates my vains screams
They are working together now
All I need is courage now
Help me release her
The vocalist
You need to hear her
NOW

Diary In Reverse Review

Caroline Eick of Bookslut recommends Diary In Reverse

Karma

If you gain nothing else from this post please know that karma is real. That golden rule that hung in the front of the bus and lingered throughout your classroom still applies to your adult life.

This is for the one who deceived me. Had me thinking that we were more than just friends. I had inducted you into my family and you hulled me. Had me thinking you were down for me and you clowned. Hurting the ones who would move mountains to put a smile on your face. You do not realize, but you will, in due time you will choose to allow life to present you with the outcome that derived from your choices. You can only blame you, because you chose.

I, for what it is worth, hold not one ounce of anger, hate or disgust for you. I actually feel bad for you. I can only pray that one day God shows you truth. I pray that you open yourself up to learning; sad that you had to learn through consequence but we have all had our turn.

So, to you I wish peace as you encounter the consequence of the unknown. Thought you knew but you will suffer for inexperience. Now, I await the day that the sun shines again in your favor.

Open your eyes to what is right in front of you.  Just because it is not what you want to hear, it doesn't mean that it is bad for you.

Be smart; don't choose to suffer for nothing.

One Love

WRITER'S BLOCK

This is not just a blog (www.theverticalperspective.blogspot.com) but it is also the SEQUAL to DIR (DIARY IN REVERSE) which if you have not got your copy yet you should....It is great and the reviews say the same.

Just about a few more months and I will be able to give you more information on Writer's Block but I can guarantee you it will be worth your time and money.

Follow me on twitter for constant updates of the work in progress @solux2010!

This is only the begining...STAY TUNED!

Titleless Conclusion

This is the titleless one
The one where the words express
All that the title can NOT say
All that my heart can feel
It is too deep
He is too deep
Or was too deep
In me
Miss him
Fear a future
Engulfed in the SETTLED
Not
Not anything I could have ever wished
Not anything I could have ever seen
Not in me
Not in
My world

He came
He shook shit up
Nose
Head
Legs
Bed
Wide open
He owned me
He had the power
But now I take it back
Rationed
He gets a portion
And
He doesn't like it
He get's half
It won't suffice
Spoiled him

Shit

What to do now?
Keep giving him words with no meaning
Keep giving him false hopes
Keep giving him reason to believe
In future
That I do not want
Yet I do want
Just not with him

Closure

I need it now
My heart longs
For
This contentment with
Closure

He believes
What I do not want to embrace
His trace
More vivid now
Every fiber of his being
Longed for more now
It hurts
So bad
I want to tell him once more
What I have said many times
No point
My heart must now link up with his mind
But
Somewhere inside I know
I see in his eyes
He is not done
There is sadness there
He longs for me
Just as I long for him
But
He is not ready there
I want to be
But my goals
Depreciate my worth to him
They are more important
He won't deny
Loving a woman
Who wants to give more to herself
Cause
The more she gives
To her
The more she wants to give
To him

Time of the essence here
How do we close it
Every time he sees me
I loose focus
Want it all back
But since I use
The effects
I doubt that
I will lose it all

As the chapter closes
One entry
One verse
One poem at a time
I still have the memories
When his eyes meet mine
And time will stand still
In his smile
Until he owns
His truth
Void of fear
He will make it better
Place the stitches over the tares
In his pride
And the tears
He hides
For love

PoeTically SpeaKing

I will be revamping PoeTically SpeaKing and re-releasing it in the latter part of the year....wait for it...

I guarantee it will be worth it!

One Love

DIARY IN REVERSE

Diary in Reverse is avaliable now...get yours plus 10% off when you enter coupon code "julycontest10" at check out....go to www.lulu.com/diaryinreverse....much love

RECEIVE 10% OF DIARY IN REVERSE (D.I.R)

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~PRESS RELEASE FOR DIARY IN REVERSE~

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact:
Audreyanna R. Garrett
Poet/Author

www.soulpoetspeaks.blogspot.com www.theverticalperspective.blogspot.com

Up and Coming Author Prepares for the Release of Second Book of Poetry: Diary In Reverse
Houston, TX -- June 22, 2009 -- “Diary In Reverse is just a poetry collage of real life and love experiences.” With that as the basis, Audreyanna Garrett is set to release her second book of poetry. Diary In Reverse captures the emotion and trials of relationships.

A different perspective to her critically acclaimed 2006 release, Poetically Speaking, Diary In Reverse began as simple journal entries, a way to vent and document challenging life experiences and relational feelings. “I began to write poems and entries about them and then it evolved into to a collage, which I later restructured in to a reversed version of my diary…” says Garrett, “… the irony and inconsistency of some of the sections in the collage give it dynamic. It makes it more realistic and relatable to me. I wanted everyone to be able to relate to the poems.”

The book is scheduled to be released and available for purchase via web on www.lulu.com/diaryinreverse on June 25th 2009. Samples of Garret’s work can be viewed on her blogs at www.soulpoetspeaks.blogspot.com and www.theverticalperspective.blogspot.com. Information for the official book signing and release party will be posted on these sites. “… Diary In Reverse is just a poetry collage of real life and love experiences… it is love made plain…”

For information:
Contact: audreyannagarrett@yahoo.com

The Edit

Just like these corrections made on these pages I flip through, I edit this life...trimming off the loose ends, eliminating the weak friends, who only want to use you. I don't need to express every detail, but just like these words and phrase I skim through I take careful consideration to every trial and glory. Were you apart of the journey? Or did you just coast. Riding the coat tail waiting to float to the one you thought would save you. Just like I thought, a huge disappointment, and the cycle continues. When are you going to make sense of it all? Treat edits like cuts and rid yourself of them all. Rain clears out the past and then we forget it. Unless it was traumatic and who needs the extra. I don't, but you can have it.

Like the new phrases and paragraphs that strike the hand, like the poems I whisper to myself or new friends, its appreciated. Leaving them behind moves you ahead. Get rid of it...the run-ons, the parody, the ironies and let truth through. Can you expect great things when old habits consume you?

I love to play the role of the editor. Taking control over life like I control this script. If you can't play the part, I simply edit it. If you are not cut out, just consider yourself eliminated. And it goes with out saying. I do not suffer for it. Your loss I just gave it to you. I just put it in your face, gave you clarity...you claimed it and made it tangible.

So I encourage you to seek the opportunities to make the edits. Be the editor. You maybe surprised at the amount of peace you experience.

One Love!

It's been awhile...

So, it's been awhile since I spoke to you...

Sometimes love has waiting periods
Just like
This cyber interaction
Although it takes
Time
I come back to you
I have to
I need you to release
The stresses
You may experience them too
So I write to free the turmoil
You relate to
Corporate America's demands
Personal dreams
Projects withstand
The time restraints
And I
Could never make it without faith
It only gets better
I claim
Fortune
In near future
Peace adorns
Success tangible
And goals obtained
Now time brings
The new
And I start again
Until the next while...

If you haven't had a chance to check out TEEN CHIC MAG....Check it out www.teenchicmag.com.

I am excited about the release of Diary In Reverse...It should be concluded in June. Stay tuned...

Other than that, check out www.theverticalperspective.blogspot.com...

Why

This post I think I just have a lot of questions.......


Why do Blacks feel like Pappadeaux is fine dining?

Why do we not expose ourselves to other things...think outside the box.

Why do we have to start asking serious first date questions? Things like "When was the last time you had sex? Did you catch anything? Do you have Mono? Etc...

If I asked you to go to the RIVER would you go? Or would you say "what is that, only white people do that?"

If I asked you what was your favorite restaurant would you say Scott's? (that is a Sport's Bar not restaurant with HORRIBLE SERVICE)

I wonder why every trip that requires money is to expensive, but you go broke in the Galleria every 1st and 15Th? Why? Can you not experience something other than Bebe?

Why do we live for LS's & LB's? (When you really don't have anything in common with
these people nor do you like them much)

Yes this is kind of gender specific, but let me help the fella out....

Why do you allow yourself to be taken care of by a female?

Why?

Why do we not wear condoms? Diseases spread like 9000....

Why is "smediums" the new large? Nigga those pants fit your knees tight, they ain't your size! Get it together...

Can you explain why some men claim the kids but find it hard to take care them? Do you even know what take care of a child means? Probably not...and in that case we should NOT have had kids!

Why does everyone want to create a new style? It is ok to go along sometimes...You can deviate from the general a little but don't be on a boat by yourself and hope that everyone catches on....Chances are there is not a chance!

These are just questions BTW....

Why is it that nails that curve ok? That is not professional in any way.

Why do we feel like we are too good to work? Collecting food stamps is not exactly all you are capable of.

Why do some black men take METRO SEXUAL TO FAR? Yes there is a limit fellas get a clue...your clothes can fit but not be tight, space between pinky fingers in cups are not hot, rings, bracelets and matching sunglasses with outfits is not all that cute...Leave a little masculinity for us to cling to. Clean shaven is ok...eyebrow wax is not! Pedicures and Manicures are risky....try at your own risk.

Why do we get lost in comfort? Do you not want more?

Why do we allow excuses for prostitution? Gold-digging is no longer a plausible explanation for dropping your drawers for money? Get some respect...Cause he sure ass hell doesn't respect you. Let me tell ya.

Why do some feel like everyone around them is keeping them down? Have you tried to help yourself? Are you handicap or retarded? Probably NOT....Try harder.

Why is GED enough? There are enough rappers....do something else.

Why do we feel like $20 dollar cover is expensive?

Why do we feel like $20 VIP is where that is? I don't want to be where everyone think they rich for 20 bucks sippin' on Corona's and shit...Get a real drink...and by more than ONE!

Why don't men buy woman drinks while out anymore? It seems like they have to be 30+ to even know/recognize that this is courteous...especially if you are going to try and be rubbin' on her butt all night.

Why do guys stare when they like you? Nigga be more cool! You just scared the heck out of me...Now you are a stalker..

Why do your heels lean to the outside when you walking straight?

Why are you still wearing round toes? Those guys are old....

Why is GAY/Bisexual the new STRAIGHT? What is that about? I do not hate any individual choices, do you but just don't expect to persuade me to do it too...Move a around.

Ok I am done now because I could go on forever...but these are just question...most are pure COMEDY!!

Truth Speak Pt. I

It is about time I hit you with some truth...But what can I give you? You do need something new....what are you fighting with? Where is your heart at? Can you see reality as clear and you can see dollar signs? Do you want that?

Are you turning your back on life because you can't sustain? Do you feel like you have nothing to loose...you do. And so does everyone around you. We are all faced with the current economical situation of this world. Obama can't save you...he can aid your comeback but you have to fight yourself. You have to fight for your family...Love is enough. Take it and use it. There are too many suicides of individuals and families because of the current economic crisis. This is a time when we call on family, call on friends, call on the community for support. I am aware that some states and cities are suffering extreme consequences but it is never enough to win. It should never be enough to control your mind. You are greater. We are stronger and you must believe that you can sustain.

They did not lie when they said that money was the root of all evil....Why? Can we not put such simple things into perspective? We are totally ignoring the larger picture. What is that about? I will never give something that is in my control, control over my feelings, choices etc. Money is an asset not a crutch or your soul purpose for being. Live with it, not for it.

This is just part one...

Another View....

Looking for another view...

www.theverticalperspective.blogspot.com

I wrote that too!

Enjoy!

Neon Collars....

I love to see brilliant people doing wonderful things.

I am an advocate of music. I love what it can be...and everyone's take on it. How they interpret the bass, snare, keyboard, vocals, etc and make it golden.

NEON COLLARS, a Houston Band whom I do not believe to not be genre specific but they are, for lack of a better phrase, "off tha chain". The sound is sultry and the lyrics are Godsend. Just listen... Neon Collars is nothing like anything I have ever heard before. It has been a long time since I have witness music so pure. The crowds response was something to experience. The lyrics and music move you to a place where nothing matters. You are free and fear nothing. And that was evident in the faces and responses of the crowd participants.

I find myself now solely encompassed in the NEO SOUL genre because it is so overlooked. More popular now, but it is crazy to see people jamming groups, bands and solo artist now that I have been jamming for months or even years in some cases.
Just in case you are unaware...I will list a few artist that are really great but not getting as much Mainstream air time:

Conya Doss
Jaguar Wright
Amel Larrieaux
Anthony David
Eric Roberson
Emily King
Rashaan Patterson
and of course Neon Collars

These are just a few, but their music is full of individualism and passion. You can't help but enjoy it. And granted you will not be able to relate to or even enjoy every single record, but you will find great music on all of their many cds.

Thoughts...

You can't put a price on happiness. It comes from within. You don't have to be rich to afford it or broke to adore it...It is self reliant. I own my happiness; I believe in me and my accomplishments. I own my future and make light of it. Success takes time, patience and persistence. You have to make it...How bad do you want it????

More Randomness!

I like to think that we are all confident in ourselves enough to not want to constantly seek perfection but to realize the imperfect perfectness of ourselves. Yes the wording is a little off, but you understand what I mean. I feel exactly the same. And I did not do it because I wanted to be more or to feel more secure, because quite frankly I think that my confidence was more fierce when I had them. Now they are gone and I am trying to find the difference. I have always seen myself for who I was. I have always wanted nothing more but to love me and allow others to do the same. I feel regular, but why? Shouldn't I feel better? I am less agitated but nevertheless I am still me. I escaped them finally, a breath of fresh air...I love it, but no one loves me more...or will he? Now that my they are gone will he want me? This is ridiculous to think, but is it true? Did he only see them? Is that why he shunned away? I don't know, but I do not want to be the character in this book...so insecure with self that she was abused emotionally and physically. I do not want to settle. Hell I give myself and love myself the best...No one but God can do better than me. I am not looking for him to complete me, but simply compliment me. Why when you think you have finally found him, he doesn't allow it to be? I need someone who is not afraid to love, who is not afraid to let us be...He adores me, and I see it in his touch. In his eye, he adores me. Never seen that look before in my life yet we will never be because we are too scared to take a chance. I am not scared but I feel like I have already failed so there is no sense in going back now. I will wait until he comes for me, or is he thinking the same thing? No one knows...That is why we are still pondering...the options.

Presidential Inauguration 2009

Nineteen degree weather was not enough to keep millions of Americans away and it definitely was not enough to deter me. As we awaited the initiation of this historical event, our minds fiercely battled our physical resistance to continue to stand and endure the Inauguration of the 44th President of the United States of America, Barack Hussein Obama.


I had the pleasure of experiencing this monumental occurrence with millions of Americans differing in race, religion and creed. We gathered in peace, shared uncontrollable emotions and smiles for we all shared a common passion. The passion of witnessing the United States of America grow; witnessing this countries founding principles emphasized. We shared the feelings of finally believing that We, The People, of the United States of America can effect change in this country. We stood together to witness the promise, as President Obama vowed, in all sincerity, to guide this country out of recession, and to encourage Americans to call upon our ability to effect and encourage change. Through President Obama’s words he spoke of change but with that came the harsh realities of past decisions. As Obama states in his inaugural address, “Today I say that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this America-they will be met.” These words, spoken in confidence, sincerity and adoration restore the hope that always resided in American hearts submerged by fear. We shall clasp to these words in desperate times. We believe in our President’s promise and that is why this Presidential Inauguration drew such a crowd.



“Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.”

-President Obama-

The strength of heart and character of America was defined by the many individuals whose physical stamina demolished over the hours and were involuntarily forced to retreat.




With President Obama’s encouragement tears were shed with hope of prosperity for all. President Obama’s heartfelt presence etched great cheer in the hearts of millions. And even though we stood ten, hundreds, thousands of feet and watched miles away, we felt like we stood right by his side.




www.teenchicmag.com

It's Worth It.....

It was worth it...an hour out of my day made my heart smile for weeks. I made it up to him. Gave him the respect and honor he lacked through her. Made him hot inside because he heard the truth and it gave him hope. Things will be better. We deserve better.

I am grateful for second chances; second advances to 3rd base. And that is not the sex base. That is reality's fate. I made it. I never would have thought it would have been this soon, but he is willing and I am giving it my all. Commitment to be true to forever; making the most of our heart's desire. Just to smile with soul's enlightment, shining bright in it. And in the abscence we grow insecurities for no reason. We both feel the same. Can't wait until someone makes the first move...someone get courgage to...admit to adoration. I miss him. And I want to be near him. He desires me without saying, so I move away. Fearful of femininity, those woman qualities that attrack, disrtact and redirect their focus. I need him to be there. I can't go out on this limb and he not be there. What does that feel like? I don't want to know. I do however, need to know where this will go. I don't want to move to fast. This is the prime and mistakes are made in haste. I have nothing but time to wait on fate. God-fearing man who's humble, much humility. My heart calls out to you. Will you answer it? I hope so.

Random Thoughts....

There is no man or woman that is perfect. I like to think I am a genuine, straight forward person with good intentions. Maybe someone you may first meet and immediately assume I am cocky and rude...You may even go as far as telling all your friends, "I hate that Bitch." Sometimes that is how it is, but in all honesty I try my best to do right by others. My actions show that I am secure in myself but never at the expense of someone else. I have great confidence in myself without having to feel that I am better than everyone else. I am me and I love me and that is all I worry about.

My heart cries out to those who are less fortunate than myself. Hell with this economy I am a few bricks away from broke myself. We can always help someone else. Small gestures are just as great as the grand ones. Sometimes listening can be better than giving. We need to not be judgemental of others personal situations. We all suffer consequence; it is just in a differing forms.

On another note...I feel like honesty is the best policy. No matter how bad it hurts. I would never give someone else something I would not want for myself. Tell me this....Would you rather lie to someone and be unsettled with guilt for 10 years or tell the truth and be the bad guy for a day (at the max)? I know every choice comes with consequences but I would rather you live with mine for a few seconds. Yes as a child I commonly received the "listen and think before you speak" criticism; which in turn made me feel misunderstood, but I get it now. Sometimes somethings are better left unsaid...until that person is ready to hear the truth. Some people do not face reality like others; especially when you want to believe your own reality. We all do it. I do in certain situations; which is probably common for most...and that instance is LOVE. We always turn our dreams into realities. Try to always see the positive and block out the negative possibilities, i.e. you know when he/she is cheating, you know when they are keeping secrets, on that down low shit etc... But when we love someone we just ignore it. It's easier for those on the outside to criticize and judge and say what they would or would not do until they are in the situation and blind sided by the consequences. The emotional hardship and in some case the physical hardship. Then it hits you...clarity and we see reality for what it is; we call ourselves fools in love and move on.

OK so this post was random, but I hope it has brought on clarity and given unwanted knowledge to some.

Emotional Return

It's so funny how small encounters can make you feel important. Make you smile just to know someone is thinking past the present. Placing everything into perspective, the long term goal. That is when hearts are rewarded. It is not with the physical gifts but the emotional returns.

I live to make you feel better
etch smiles in your hearts
like fifth grade love letters
we long for love
always want to be admired
tearing down walls
in situations where they matter
expecting its presence
in every aspect of life
hopeful

even though some live to disappoint
can't live with much trust
it's just taken for granted
developing scorn
and another one is lost
another one easily relinquishing to circumstance
made you feel good
so you gave it a chance
hate the truth so you make your own
it's ok to be gullible
so the smiles depreciate
the value of peace
is now less than one cent
it is encountered at the cost of your innocent

now mocked
and ridiculed because you want to hope for it
the love you longed for
now so far in the distance
and you still don't get it
peace is within
it's what you make of it


Don't search the world for what you have in you...Be at peace with self and everything will fall into place for you.

Presidental Inaugration 2009

Please check out my article on www.teenchicmag.com

More versions of this article and different perspectives coming soon..........

The Presidential Inaguration 2009

So few have the opportunity to witness such a historical event; and I thank GOD that I am one of those lucky people. Not only will I get to witness this history first hand, but I will get to witness the swearing in of the first African American President of the United States. Chosen by the American body. This is definitely going to be memory that I get to share with my children and I can not wait. I was hungry for the tickets so I got them. Never fall short of your true desire. Do whatever it takes, within reason, to do what you want and get where you want to be. Make your life meaningful. Life is never promised, so live day to day without fear and regret. I can not wait to return to tell you my experience, life from Washington, DC...Are you ready for it?

Poetry vs Reality

So the line or separation between poetry and reality isn't definite. It's ultimately what you make of it. I mean it's greater than humans; it's minute compared to government policies and procedures. The level of complexity is comprehensible by the average; I mean it's border line common sense. Poetry is transcribed to evoke feelings. Some truthful and some mythical but poetry nonetheless; always serving its purpose. If it's good.

I like to see words, live, think and be words. Getting to know them far beyond the bare minimum. I care what they mean to you. How you view them; if tears can really be stimulated by them, and if the verse you read is truly inspired by them. There is a huge difference between poetry that is written with words and poetry that is inspired by words. It's the placement and the meaning. Again the feeling you can take from it is totally different. Words and feelings, poetry in a nutshell. Reality and reason...living through stories we tell through verse. The difference between poetry and reality is special. The stories can be true; that's why the feelings overtake you. Just because its reality may not be true for the the writer doesn't mean it's not true for you, who which it was inspired. I see its effect on you and noted it. That's why you can easily relate to it. It's a better brand, maybe one step above generic, because it's comprehensible. Personally speaking poets poetically seek your connection. So I have probably confused you, but just like the evening news, poetry easily consumes you.

Corporate America

Well, at first it seems so hard to get into. You go to college to learn something new, only to find out that this thing you have devoted at least four years of your life to, has nothing to do with the job given to you. Pissed...you work your way up; acknowledging that the odds of you getting the pay your deserve for the degree you have earned is slim to none. There are circumstances where you catch the hook-up; which then turns out to be stressful because you have a great deal to live up to. But you do it. And despite what they think, or lip behind you; you are not token; your credibility is better than that of the average. You create the Shock factor. They don't know what to do; so they unwillingly accept you. Although they are making six figures in the lat 50s and 60s; they regretfully admit that you are subsequent. Except a few years shy of their careers. Then your promotions come without warning and they don't regret their decision because your focus and precision get narrower. You have tunnel vision. Focused on that million; because your family grew up eating bologna and Top Ramen,so you are determined to make a difference. You carry yourself in a way that has the wondering if your parents already had a million. It throws them off. You smile because your comfort kicks up a notch. You are successful in your own right. Promotions equal more money which indirectly means more responsibility. Cause success does not necessarily equal stress free. And your managers lessen. You are climbing...and you are glad you made it happen. Ten years later and you still are in your prime...SHINING! As you look back, you have to reach back and pull someone else in. Now it's time to step aside so they too can win. Aren't you glad you got in...Corporate America.

A Love Letter

So I didn't know where else to put it, so I blogged it. My last letter to him. My last letter to love because I give up on him. Even though I don't want to, I have to because love doesn't love me. Everything I thought love was, it wasn't. And this is almost like Sid's love letter to hip hop; the only difference is this, hip hop doesn't love me in return. Love is borderline pathetic, no I take that back, it is ridiculously pathetic. Like the thin line that stands between me and love when I cross it, I won't go back. But I stand in front of it weighing my options. And this post contradicts some of the others, but I am human also. My feelings waiver. No, I don't really want to give up on love, but it hurts so bad. The memories hurt because I can't live new ones everyday. I can't smile at him everyday.  He won't look at me like that everyday. With that sparkle that I know only I get, but I am nothing if he never admits it. I can't continue to hope for love, I just want it to one day chase me. Hound me until I give in, because I deserve it. I love love but he needs to work for it. So, I am here; tip toeing around my decision. Maybe you could help me out...Should I do it. Cross it and NEVER look back? HELL NO, I would be sad and deplorable; just like the line I drew, created, made up to validate my frustrations and anger. I hate this position. I want and need love. I want and need him. And one day love will chase me, hound me everyday until I give in. Until my fingers get tired of reflecting my thoughts of joy on this screen. I will succeed and love will love me; just like hip hop loved Sid, it may just take ten more years.


Brown Sugar, a Classic! My favorite movie by the way!

I Want To Give...

Just a little background history, before people think I am crazy, I came up with this poem in the shower. No paper, no pen, no laptop. I just happened to remember it, and typed it up to share with you. Hope you enjoy.


I almost want to give you more
I am a beast at this freestyle verse
I could stand in front of you
And wow you with this
This flow that is never broken
Until an applause is abundant
And I am so in love
I can’t stop
Can’t pause
Can’t let you go
My audience
I want to give you more
More of me
Of my time
My experience
My perception of reality
Its so real
You can’t help but to feel me
And that’s why I will never leave

I almost want to sleep on this stage
Breathe in the jazz
That sets the atmosphere
For truth speak
And its here
But I don’t need it
My verse is strong enough that I don’t need the antics
The song
The music
The theatrics
But its here
And you probably didn’t even hear it
Until I mentioned it

I almost want to give you
Eternity in rhyme
But I am going to end it
The longer I stay
The more you desire to live it
Feel it
Hear it
And the more I want to give it
So I must
Leave you with this
My heart
My life
I live like this
To speak
And give strength
To you
In my verse I love
And that’s all I can give
Marinate on it
Cause I am still going
And the applause is in you
So that means
That even though I don’t want to
Now
It’s time to leave you