Damn

Originally Posted November 27, 2007

 

Damn

Your mind

Soul

And words

Baffle me

So amazing

That I can't quite decipher

Your drive

Or maybe

Maybe it's me

You are driven by me

So abrupt I entered your world

Turned you inside out

And now

You don't know which way is up

And

Now

I have allowed for you to

Jeopardize my space

My world

It is so mixed up in you

Damn

Sent

Chills down my spine with your words
and your voice bypasses all

Goes straight to my blood

It supports me

What would I be without it

Now that I know

It is

Damn

Your mind

Soul and words

Baffle me

But now

I have no choice

But to continue

To allow them to be

The reason I Am

The reason I Be

Untitled

Originally Composed March 5, 2008 

Perfectionism With me being a perfectionist Perfectionism has me Doing this shit Over and Over And over Until I get it right My breath is still Now As you Listen to Or read Scrutinize And critique So Half ass Half done And thrown together Are not in my vocabulary Just as I sung my first note First note in front of you You watched Better yet stared And compared my Eccentricity to many But when I return To the stage with my Verses, Choruses, And Bridges You will want more Yearn my return As you hum my melodies That continue To linger in your ear Nerves, brain And bloodstream Cause you can't let it go That is what initial hating does Makes me better And make you A fan Maybe a jealous one But a fan nonetheless So thanks Thank you For being the ice In my Crown Royal Trying to water it down But its to potent So it takes awhile So here I am now Better Stronger Wiser Bolder Getting right for you So you can Have more to scrutinze Giving me more to manipulate into greatness Cause Over and  Over and  Over I do this shit My talent My craft I live this shit That's the life of this PERFECTIONIST

Past Paradise pt.2

I've given everything

She

Her

Me

I

Have 

Nothing left

So you took me

Now

You consume

My every thought

My soul

My heart

Wants no part 

Of life

Without you

So

I guess
I will keep 

Past paradise 

On repeat...

Brand New (5/3/2010)

I am feeling like fresh white sneaks

Leaving squeaks until they get used to the crease

I am

Giving you the feeling of first time excitement

I am so speechless

Silence speaks

You got me, feeling love in undefined places

Its like the brand new feelings

As we share butterfly kisses

Leaving the taste of love

Creeping up in the stranges places

And I need to grasp it

The love handle that tickles

The smiles that teases

And then its time to release

Those new sheets have to get old sometime

That clean car gets duty afterwhile

And that shine goes dull in the meantime

But

Everytime our eyes meet

Our souls speak

And it feels like the very first time

And I get weak

In all the undefined places

I get

Brand new feelings

And the cycle is never ending 

It's All Coming Back To Me (7/22/2010)

It fell back into my lap like
The way I fell in my Dad's when I was a little girl
It bounced back into my memory
Like I bounce to old school jams
It hit me like a ton of bricks
And I couldn't help but be overcome by it
The memory longed to be tangible
And I wanted it even more
Then it all came back

Silent seduction
Lip kissed thighs
Tounge teased crevices that longed for him to drive
It felt like Heaven

I miss the twenty minute meetings
The ones that felt like twenty hours
Silence lingered amoungst the space between my hips and his
We turned all that we could not say into passion
And it felt great to live it
To experience it
LOVE
And it's all coming back now
The way he touched my soul
The way I stroked the dome
I aimed to please and he was all that I could ever want or need

The memories flood
Now drowned out by the rain that pours
Missing the sunny days
The love we made
The laughs we shared
And all that took us there
But its all coming back to me now

There was never an alternative
This pair is so compatible
You have been troubled trying to find someone adequate
But he asked for it
So
As he reads
The words press play on the memories
And it all comes back to him now

The Power of Confidence (8/19/2010)

You hide behind the shadow of you

So caught up in the unnatural

Engulfed in the facade of perfection

Can't comprehend

The power that speaks volumes
The quiet in the storm
The illuminated soul
It's radiant
I see what you are
You see what you want to be
Unleveled
You take time away from self development
To build on the politically correct/socially accepted you
Don't even know you
Don't listen to your heart to hear its truth
Quiet now
Peace is still
Take a second to really exhale
What do you see?
Life in reality
Real time
In this I find sincerity
I take pride in me here
It's home
It allows me to be at peace
Even when I am alone
If you don't realize the power you hold
You can never convince me
I will never believe you
Let confidence guide
Let your pride ride
Not steer
Humility is accepting the faults
Use them
I speak volumes
My words move mountains
You witness the greatness
You see the light that illuminates
I can't fake it
The smile is pure and I BELIEVE
I HAVE FAITH
My confidence exudes
No fear
There is no hesitation
It is the acceptance of choice
Don't take for granted the consequences
Let them teach you
Let the hurt prompt you
Falling is ok
Just remember not to break
You are as great as your greatest thought
Make light of you
Let it drive you
Use the confidence as power
Don't let it overtake you
Too much of anything can overwhelm you
I am watching
I am waiting
Embrace YOU
I want to share this peace with you

ONE LOVE

Something to Empower (11/23/2010)

In light of recent discoveries and realizations, I feel that it is necessary for me to address empowerment.  I want to lift up all my black women and black men and encourage them to conquer.  There can be no change without the will to change and we are so stuck in the vicious cycle that often times we allow ourselves to be consumed with negativity.  We always want to discuss the wrong and what we could do better, but there is no initative to make it better.  You are not in this world alone, and no matter how much of an individualist we try to be, we are a reflection of our history, our present and it is in direct relationship with the perception developed about our future.  So I hope this moves you...

Call on the fight that dwells within you
Seek the child whose hand  needs you
Lift the heart of the man whose worth has been devalued
Remember the history
Take the stories
The dark tales
The battered, bruised and broken bodies
And untouched souls
The fight that stirred in the hearts of those
Who held on
To pass it on too you
Make it work in your world
In this world WE need to
Make peace
Build the foundation of our community
Encounter selflessness
Make love prevelent
Apply tender kisses to brokeness
Dry the eyes of lonely nights
Feed the mouths of foodless lives
Busy the hands of workless times

Make a change
There is no better time

In Case You Didn't Know (Originally Posted 10/26/2010)

Just like white lies

They surface

And once in awhile

They are mine
I try to control them
Deep within
That which you do not need to know
For what
To use against me
To manipulate me
In case you are unaware
There are no puppets here
No strings tied to my back
I talk on my own here
This life I live
I drive alone
So I keep secrets
To keep you close
And him closer

She who scowled at my rings
The designer brands
And finer things
Kiss my ass
It's free
That shit comes and goes
Just like air
Like life
And the lies you keep in circulation
You won't get ahold to these
Secrets
They encompass my pride
The success that I hide
Modesty
It's attractive
I
Humble
Every moment is precious

To know all
Is to know to much
Human is greed
We don't need that much
Redirect your focus
Steer clear of me
Don't be road blocks
Encounter clarity
Everything is short
Even memory

Hoppin' (Originally Posted 10/13/2010)

Like the beat and the bass

Like the tracks that common makes

You hop

And it’s bangin’

To hop
From one friend to the next
From this girl to that
From his friend
And back to him
From this bar and then
Suites
After hours spots for new meets
Just hoppin'

Can’t keep still
Adrenaline pumpin’
In need of a new thrill
Missing out on
Acquiring new skills
New knowledge
New networks
New words
New grounds
New heights
New lengths
Complacent with instant gratification
Lost in the drank that
Separates sanity from compulsiveness
You
Can't let go of the rhythm
Keep hoppin’
Keep loosin’
Time

You and I, Us, We

life bubbled

around the hope 

of two

you and I

us

we

the thought

trapped in my mind

love struggle

heart battles

the logical

and

I can't love you

I can't want you

but

somehow 

I do

but

you and I

us 

we

are not supposed to

be great

even though

we relate

love

is not our fate

yet

I find comfort in 

you

in the idea of 

hoping for better

therefore

I want to 

stay longer

in this space

blocking

reality 

so I can see 

the potential

of 

you and I

us 

we

and

I smile 

at the possibility

until 

I realize

I can't be 

optimistic

because nothing 

will ever come of 

you and I 

us

we

are better off

hoping

and loving separately

Lit Fire

the dark

turned to light

struck match

now

shadows illuminated

you and I

turned to we

so in sync

pure ectasy

every touch

hug

kiss

rub

we 

find endless pleasure

increased desire

to love longer

breathe harder

and
in every moment of you

I found 

a better me

but this can't be...

it's too soon

yet 

we frequent the moon

in bliss

and I never want to leave you

then I come to

and wish that you

had never struck the match

that some how

created fire

with a burnt fuse

The Inclination to Explain

I'm inclined
To explain
All things
Commonly
Misunderstood
So
Come to me
For questions
Regarding
The derivation of love
Or its purpose
For
Clarification on
The lack of communal respect
Or
For understanding of
Why all lives matter
Or
Why the media
Controls your perception
But you
Watch it
Read it
And follow the general consensus
Without a second thought
Or
To identify why
Social networks are not for children
Or
For any other
Who
What
Why
Or how
Concerning
Governing ourselves
In this life
Because
I'm inclined
To explain
All things
Commonly
Misunderstood

.....Untitled

Jazzy

Blues

When I'm not with you 

But with 

One spoken word

We are in tune

Poetry

Supernatural Love

This poem is dedicated to the man I have shared my world with since the very day that we met...

Like...
You
Make my soul bounce
And
My love
Gravitates to you

Since day one
You have been here
The man I have shared
My life
My soul
My heart
My thoughts
Essentially
My world
With
Yet
I've finally actualized
The idea
That
I have never needed anyone before
But you

And it happened without warning
Both of us
Patient
With love
But now
I can't
Get you out of my head
You live there
In the space carved out for bliss
True happiness
And
Love
Nonetheless

So my future
Unclear
But
The love I have for you
Is indeed
Supernatural
And
In everything I do
I crave your presence
And although you are always with me
A piece of you will forever dwell
In my world
So
My motivation
To decrease the space
That keeps
The physical you
From my everyday
Is real
And
Only time will tell
If this love
Will prevail...

Poetry Letters

History of the poems:

This poem was inspired by an old friend of mine (A. Malveaux), we literally wrote poems in response to one another. Something to note is that he wrote a poem called I AM and I loved it, while it had nothing to do with me, I wanted to write one with the same title so I wrote the first poem you will see below "I Am (response to you)" and it is about him.  

Then I wrote the subsequent poem called "DAMN" before he told me the poem he was writing. The last poem is his response to my poem called "DAMN". Each of the pieces are original works, and I only take credit for the pieces that I composed. These poems were composed between the years of 2005-2007.

I AM (response to you)...... -MY POEM (A. Garrett) So I am responding to you We are so in tune You took the words Right out of my mind And spoke to my soul The irony
Would have never thought After all this time I Was still on your mind Like kids We share our journey Our focus We discover is connected You enjoy what I love I love what you enjoy And admire your voice Your ability to vocalize What I can't Speaking to me Understanding me I embrace you I am responding to you So What do you say Because I am Confronting What neither of us can deny Damn Its funny how you know My words before they are spoken Your ideas are mine And my life You have lived You get me No one gets me But YOU GET ME And I am speechless So I await your response to My responding to you What would you say that I am? Because I think That I am The female version of you



DAMN -MY POEM (A. Garrett) Damn Your mind Soul And words Baffle me So amazing That I can't quite decipher Your drive Or maybe Maybe it's me You are driven by me So abrupt I entered your world Turned you inside out And now You don't know which way is up And Now I have allowed for you to Jeopardize my space My world It is so mixed up in you Damn Sent Chills down my spine with your words and your voice bypasses all Goes straight to my blood It supports me What would I be without it Now that I know It is Damn Your mind Soul and words Baffle me But now I have no choice But to continue To allow them to be The reason I Am The reason I Be

Damn (I AM) -HIS POEM (A. Malveaux) Well In response I say damn. I say that you are "Am"… The same as I An evolving You. And who knew That at this point You could be so empowering. Instantly in my life, My time, my mind. A perfect mixture Of your Past, your present, And your future. And already I'm better. Damn. And this is the life I live The life I know The life I love. Simply because it's mine And one email Or phone call Can change it all The present and the future But for the better. For a better smile A better voice A better embrace. At least to me And that's all that matters Because life is short And love is scarce. But my life has prepared me For the downs and the ups The almosts and not quites The more bad than goods. But honestly I wasn't prepared For this For YOU. New dreams And cautious hopes Now control my thoughts Wondering if they're yours or not. If we're really on the same tune On similar paths. And I wish to see the future But no rush Because I enjoy THIS. I enjoy conversing with your soul And you to mine. Years later equal Better than before. That's how I feel. As if, The past happened just for today. Just to be able to look back and say Damn. Damn. So Speechless no longer I am. I know the words But the verbiage sometimes avoids me. Maybe waiting for the perfect moment. That perfect moment. Hmmm. When it does come I can see words not being needed. Because we're deeper… You have materialized Yesterday's dreams. And I should thank you. And I will At that perfect moment. And if things get bad I hope I'm able to remember this good, This feeling. This EXACT feeling That I have inside For You. Damn!!!

10 Minutes

moments
or I should say
minutes
forever embedded
in my love
for you
my son
my King
if I could get back
every second
I would long to stay
in those moments
with you
forever
but
as luck would have it
I live
in the memory
of you
of your heartbeat
your movement
your beautiful face
innocent spirit
and pure soul
similar to that
of my own
so
you and I
will forever be one
and a piece of me
resides forever
in those 10 minutes
after you were born

Love

Love
Still my favorite emotion
Often misunderstood
But once acquired
Changes lives
The most unpredictable
The most powerful
Feeling
In all the world
And I
Love my life
I love love
And every new experience of love
That
I want to show you
My gratitude
In love
And when you are ready
I will overwhelm you
With
Sincere gestures
Of love
That only I could
And
Give you life
In a new view
Of the love
True love
I hold for you

My King

My King
Pain
In retrospect
Seemed to be bearable
Sadness
And grief
True grief
An emotion unknown
Until soon after
I pushed
You emerged
A beautiful soul
Perfect in my eyes
Heartbeat strong
For a short while
Moments
I will forever cherish
My King
To small to save
My son
Your life I imagined
Would
Exceed my own
Ended
And
While God's plan
Still the master
I was forced
To prepare myself
And grief
Of
The loss of you
Still
A new
My King
Forever
Mommy's angel
I could never forget you
For
Your Mother's love
Will always be with you


-In loving memory of my baby boy, King-

today

I saw you

and
I saw

my future 

in your eyes

and my heart

melted

not only did I not realize the impact

you had

but I underestimated the love

we shared

now

life
more meaningful

now 

life

has more purpose

part of me

part of you

us

unity

we

forever

cannot undo

what 

God 

created

life

through you

and you live

for me

easy

we relate

easy 

we love

and life

is 

perfect

America

you don't think
I see you
you
fight for the "right now"
oh wait
its just media take out
they use you
to play out
the "right now"
you buy it
their cause
your cause
your voice
a drone
you
manipulated
by emotional strings
a puppet
in the grand scheme of things
yet
it's me
I
don't understand
my history
my purpose
"your" cause
the world
or the curse of it
doomed
we
the people
in your eyes forever
because I
choose to see better
my view
sees America
for what it is
not what it is not
I know how to exist
in a world of politics
and simultaneously despise it
I know how to be change
I read
I seek
I speak
I think
I plan
I take heed
to what you have not
the answer
right in front of all of us
overlooked
and they laugh
can't get to it
your own ideas
cloud your judgement
selfishly you activate the emotions
you take on the media role
and the news has not even begun
in America
lack of perception
gives the gun
to the man
with the wrong plan
so
while no one wins a war
in America
no one perceives the cure
until its too late...

Why...

It makes no sense to me

The why

Often questioned

So few times 

Answered

I 

Lay still

Silence 

Feeling the weight

Rhythm 

And necessity 

Of breath

And I wonder

If that's exactly where I should be 

Why

Nothing 

Matters

Why 

Often questioned 

So few times answered

Then

I 

Stopped looking

The more you understand

The more 

You complicate things 

Why

When left unanswered 

Means 

Everything

Cut Off

Sometimes we have to be careful of what we ask for.  In life respect is a concept so often misused.  You should not demand respect from individuals you show no respect to.  This negatively impacts the natural order of things.  Respect is given and received.  Notice that "to give" comes before receiving.  I tried very hard to show respect in spite of adversity.  No matter how stubborn, childish and immature someone was.  The desire to continue was fueled by love, nothing more or less.  Love is patient and kind, all those I exhibited even when it was not easy for me to do so.   Now I have given enough without being heard and respected.  In these situations you edit your life, cut those people who mean you no good off.  That doesn't mean be angry, sad or feel any type of pain from the loss, it just means you are wise enough to know what you deserve.  Be wise enough to make the decision to eliminate the factor that will do you harm.  And what you deserve weighs more than what you want to give someone else.

As children one of the things we wanted most was to be an adult.  We craved the responsibility and the freedom, but we did not know the extent of the responsibility one receives with that freedom.  Now as an adult we see that sometimes it is too much to manage.  Too many choices and not enough right answers.  How do we ensure that we are making the right decisions? We have no affirmation most of the time.  We base what we know to be right and wrong on cultural standards and religious precedents.  We do what we feel is right.  Often times leaning on the notion "do unto others as you would have them do unto you".  So are you?  Are you doing all those things that you would want someone to do to you?  That is the question of which adults responses are often contradictory.

What is certain is that in this life I want to make sure to experience every ounce of love, happiness and valuable lessons I can.  With that comes dealing with people who lack understanding of your purpose.  You come into contact with people whose ideals do not align with your goals and we have to make decisions to separate ourselves from those people.  Love from a distance.  Cut them off if you will, but not with any ill intention or negative emotion.  I find that I try my best to establish an emotional balance before I take such measures.  What I have recently discovered is that no matter how good or positive your intentions are, if the other person is not willing to see "the good" it will not be seen.  What I am trying to figure out now is how to deal with that reality...

The Bridge

Meet me
In between our worlds
For
Freedom..


Loose the shackles
Left by lost love
Because
I can't stand
To hate you
My love holds far more weight
Yet
Your disregard for my presence
Makes me feel at stake
And I fear a life
Filled with pain
Void of your presence
And
I refuse
To accept it
So
Show up
For me
For you
For us
Meet me
At the bridge
For love
Because nothing
Or
No one
Should matter
But us...

It could all be so...

It could all
Be so
Simple
But
We complicate the melody of love
When hearts are in sync
We question the sincerity
Of
Love
But you and I
We are perfect in every way
I
Your queen
You delight in me
Simple pleasures
I live to share with you
Memories
I
Can't wait to make with you
And you saw fit
To see me
Even at my worst
You didn't give up on me
You saw the good
You waited for me
So
I know
You are
Made for me

And I will cherish the day
We decide to be as one
I thank God
For the great lessons in love
All that
Has prepared me for you
Because I
Never want to
Take you for granted
I honor you
My king
And
In love
I am
With the way
Your eyes burn with passion for me
The rhythm of your heartbeat
The way you take in
All of me
And
I yearn
To
Give you that back
Every moment
Of every day
In our love story

So
When I say
It could all be so
Simple
It really can be
And I wait for the day
God recognizes our love journey

Fire

A new shade of red 

You give me now 

Fire 

Soul ignites 

We unify 

For pure bliss

Ecstasy 

A new

Yearning

For you 

In places you have yet to explore 

They call your name

Every crevice of innocence

Every external peek of sensuality

Desires to be made known to you

Explore me

She craves you 

Soul delights in the new

Connection 

Not just of the mind

But in the moment of nothingness 

She drips for you 

Warm ocean of love 

Created in the thought of you 

Take me

She

Her

I give all 

Of me to you 

Forever synchronized  

Our hearts beat in unison 

And there is no element 

That can settle the fire

Of unyielding love

A new shade

Of red

Law of attraction

Our souls one 

Do you understand now?

How 

Sincerity in your stare 

Sparks hesitation you need to 

Let go of 

Now

Because the intensity has won

And desire for your love 

Burns through me 

Like the sun