A Brick Wall

I was making progress
Then I hit
A brick wall
Larger than 20 feet tall
And I stumbled back
Looking left and right
I felt defeated
What happened to my fight?
Fear consumed me
My heart stung greatly
And I
I had to make a decision
Love was new
Sweet
Nurturing if I returned
But on the other side of that wall
My mind deemed you
The greatest love of all
And
Now
I must decide my fate
As I stand here and face
Glaring at the brick wall
The median
Between
Me
And
You

In limbo...

I am stuck in the middle
wishing
hoping
praying for equilibrium
but no hope yet
still miss understood
unheard
unclear
with no words
I can't change my state
but I hope life is better
with the influence of fate
change my space
put me in first place
because no one wants to be
in limbo

Why I write about love?

Someone asked me the other day why I wrote about love. Never been asked that before although I am aware of the fact that love and life consume my work. I'm extremely fascinated by the affects of love and life.

Love to me is more than just a relationship with a loved one or a significant other. To me love applies to many other aspects of life. The passion for love and recognition of its true purpose helps us to understand how to conduct ourselves on a day to day basis. Because quite frankly I'm tired of hearing that someone killed because they were in love, or they are jealous because they are in love, or they hate because they are in love, etc.  I do recognize the thin line between love and hate but that same line is between right and wrong and good and evil to be honest. But when you love you do not hate! Period!

I go more in depth about this in my current literary project, The Love Trials. I hope you all read and do share your thoughts!

Poetically Speaking

So I a have not written a post in awhile so I feel the need to share somethings.   I use this blog to speak poetically, but that does not mean you will not find poetry on my other blogs.   Each of my blogs caters to a certain feel, a certain aspect of life and love that I wish to share with you.   Poetically Speaking encompasses more of my poetry surrounded by the situations of life and love.  I try to talk about things most would not here.  I share feelings that most wish to say but don't here.  I do it so that we can create a bond through words and you can have somewhere to come and know that you can relate to it because  IT IS REAL!

I pride myself on being honest in my work, unless it is deemed fiction of course.  I like to share truth because in my opinion that is the only way to make it relatable.    I want my readers thousands of miles away to be able to feel the pain, excitement, joy that is encompassed in my work because they know and understand the situation and share my emotion.

I speak poetically because I am a poet and I see the world in poetry.   Thank you so much for reading me.  Because that is what I give you, me.  My heart, my love, my world, my situations, my emotions, my anger, my frustrations, me.  And in everything that you read there is a message of hope, peace and love.  I try to show that I am a work in progress and yes it may be tough today, but it will be better tomorrow.  Broken hearts are a phase, encountering jealousy is a phase, loosing life is inevitable, etc.  The more you talk about it, the more you free up yourself, your mind, your soul to focus on the positive.

So again, thank you so much for sharing my stories, my poetry.  If there is anything more I can do for you please let me know.

One Love,

Audreyanna

Greed, Green Eyes & Ignorance

Uncommon
Inconsistent
What we considered
Non-existant
But it's here

Unfavored
Unjust
And betraying
Favored amongst the masses
And the dark can no longer mask it
Now in the light
It fights against the just
Greed
Green eyes
Considered untouched
And now we fall victim to
Ignorance
And God could help those who
Stand for it
But they don't want his love
They fight against it
For power is sought
But
The strength to change the inevitable
Lies in the hearts of believers
Who fear God
And love the unchangeable
Greed
Is a disease
Green eyes
Is the host
And our ignorance
Is the contagion

No one wins a war
But love can fight for the cause

The Passion to Give

Seeing double
Blurred vision
Unexpected
Like all of a sudden
I see two
And nothing is clear
Except
TRUTH

I feel like I am trapped
Pinned down in a spiral of the unfit
Being pulled down in a barrel of the selfish
Because
I am learning
The hard way
That giving is harder for some
Receiving we are all receptive
Without expecting to help
Divide happiness
Peace
And surplus
Instead
In the time of struggle
We latch on to frugal
And in most cases
A blatant unwillingness to be there
For someone else
And I can see color
Even though you all are blurry
And I know that when the tables are turned
Hands are drawn
Palm facing up
Eager to receive
Oblivious to others need
And you will surely see
That
The passion to give
Supersedes receipt

The Happiest Woman Alive

I am happiest when...
I thought I could easily answer
The question
Everyday before
Today
But now I know
Love and happiness lies in you
A love of my own
You show me
The simple things
And life is easy
Still
In your arms
Breath matches
Heartbeat dances
To the same rhythm
Drama aside
Passion multiplied
To easy
You and I
Make me
The happiest woman alive

Chest opened
Heart ripped
Deprived of chance
Opportunity to life
Choice
Now separated from
The possibility
I don't get the chance to cease the moment
Smell the roses
Or lay in your presence
Repeatedly
Because you chose to separate
My existence
From the possibility
Why?
Love is not easy
And being in love is crazy
Emotions strong
Captivating realities
Of the wants
And dislikes
The needs
Desires not alike
But
Preservation of the ability
To come back HOME
Where the heart is...
Home
Where my love is
Home
In the heart
To which you hold the key
And your faith
All I ever want is for you to believe in me
Trust
That I will make it better
Trust that love is all we need to weather
The difficulties

#MotiVatioNWeDnesdaY

So I wanted give some motivation today.  My motivation comes in the form of rational thinking and tough love.  So I have a few questions...

When you woke up this morning how did you feel?

What did you expect from your day?

What is the situation you need motivation out of?

What do you need motivation to do?

Why are you not motivated?

If you have answered one or more of these questions, I would like to suggest that you change your outlook.  Don't look for motivation, instead focus on the need.  Not sure what I mean...well take these examples.  Think about how you feel versus how you need to feel.  What you expect versus what you need to expect.  Where you are versus where you need to be, etc.  Sometimes we allow ourselves to get caught up in the lack of motivation versus what we need.  You will find that focusing on the need will channel your motivation.  It will eliminate the questions.  Some people think of what they need to do and think they need motivation when they need to simply understand the NEED for what they are doing.  That need serves as the purpose/reason.  The need serves as the motivating factor.

Motivation by definition is the act or an instance of motivating,  or providing with a reason to act in a certain way  (2) the state or condition of being motivated   (3) something that motivates;  inducement; incentive (dictionary.com).  

With that being said we should stop allowing people and things to motivate things that we may not need.  Only you know what you need.  You know where you want to be and what your expectations are.   Stop being lazy and codependent and think about you needs.  I don't understand how so many people want to put off their current state on someone else.  Never taking the fault for why they are in the positions their in.  It is understandable that we do not have control over all circumstances, but we do have the capability to make choices.  Our choices contribute to the circumstances as well.  So instead of sulking or being lazy trying to place blame, take responsibility for your choices.  If you aren't where you want to be you need to make new decisions.  What do you need to do to get to where you want to be?  Allow that to be your motivation.  Let me know what happens!  

One Love,

Audreyanna

Shades of You

So
You woke up
Eyes glowing
Sun kissed
Gazing into my eyes
And I
Never surprised when you
Turn shades of blue
Melancholy
Bound by emotions
Your to afraid to
Expose
So in denial
You act as if I
Don't matter
Now
Shades of confusion
You
Try to determine the difference
Between love
And in love
Failed
Now frustration filled arms
Keep you away
From
Me
And I
Bring you back to
Shades of joy
With just one kiss
You remember the love
And your fixed
Discarded discombobulation
Then you see
A glimpse of happiness
In past lies
Or in new thighs
And you
Turn again
Throwing shade from every angle
Now
I
Fed up
Take turns showing you the emotions you gave me in one motion
Back turned
Head high
I keep walking
With no concern for your melancholy
You want to bring clarity to your confusion now
But I don't hear you
I have joy
In the eyes who take pride in the stride
That led me away from you

Shades of Envy

Your eyes
Now a funky shade of green
And I
Still see things
Bluer than ever
Yet
I can't seem to find the meaning
Behind those
Green eyes
You had the opportunity to share life
And love
Now only to find that all that was
Is no longer desired
So you
See
Shades of envy
Longing for what was once your own
With hopes of
Second chances
And you digress
For years
But what seem like moments
In soul time
You make due
With comfort ability
You seek space
In time capsules
Recollecting
And your eyes keep getting greener
And your heart keeps getting weaker
And your soul lonelier...
Ruffling through the shades of envy

Love is...

Love is...
Only as strong as you make it
Only blind as you allow
And
Only as long as you demand
Love is...
Supreme
In the grand scheme
Love is everything
Life
Breath
Speech
Its keen
Its KING
To understanding purpose
To fulfilling your mission
The definition of love
Encompasses existence
So
Love is...

Only You

No matter how much I look forward
My heart looks back
Only love so true
Makes the present fade to black
And the past
Now the desirable
Only you
Him who keeps butterflies fluttering
Him whose love holds no boundaries
I feel you yearning
I hear your soul call me
But I don't answer
Because your heart and mind
Not alike
I want you to believe the unconscious
I want you to make the emotion tangible
Show me you
And all that encompasses
The only man I have ever truly wanted
Show me
Everything that
Only you would know

He, My Love

I anticipated being surrounded by blank
pages
and canvas
Where I can be free
And
Supported by strength
The edges
Rooted in truth
And wrapped in peace
Because you
He
My love
Will be
The man who makes sense of my faith
Will
Keep me in line with right
And
Create a pathway
Tailored to my thoughts
And shaped for my grace
He
My Love
Will be
The only man that God ordained
My righteousness
And that is what love looks like
In soul's space

I feel lifeless
Like a broken heart
You broke my wings
And I can not fly in peace
I need you to break free
Speak calm to the storm of my misery
If only you knew
How hatred encompassed me

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The Fight

I wish not death on you
On me
On he
Them
Or even
Those who take for granted the little things
The simple pleasures
The freedom to wake
Not having to fear
Or fight
For the one thing you lack incite
Life
Because
Nothing is forever
But while you take pleasure in it
Life
Appreciate it
For those who are strong
Take advantage of the opportunity
To fight to live
And those who are weak
Selfishly seek
End
To the greatest gift
Love brings...

I'm in love with...

I am in love with life
Like I am in love with you
You being she
The girl that makes up
Me
In life
and in love with self
I make do
I have learned too
love she most
love her more than you
And nothing's better than
Being in love
With
You
She
Me
Eye smiles
and soul tunes
Life is so much better
when I know how to love
You
She
Me
In love with...

In your absence...

body not present

I try not to sulk

in your absence

I 

try to make due

with the long distance

but my mind lingers on the next 

moment

the next opportunity

I'd get

to make the most of it

to make the seconds turn to minutes

from minutes to hours

and hours to years

in your embrace

I 

try to make due

but the long distance doesn't soothe

the passion you ignite

the fire I fight

because we are so right

that no even distance

could hide

desire...

Open to life

Like I am open to you

And all is new

In love

With no limits