No longer waiting on those with planted feet
I am loosening the roots
Letting God up root me
New heights
New lengths
Bright lights
He makes
Doing away with
Old ways
Old logistics
Easy
Mind at ease
Peace enstilled
My heart can see
My soul can breath
Serenity is...
It is indeed.
I want something new
I need to make life meaningful
Hope the arms of my soul reach out to you
Let its illumination enliven you
Monday, September 27, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Innocent
So we are innocent until proven guilty, but if it is not proven what about me? Why should I die when the hate wasn't for me? Why would you risk removing life from this earth for the chance to get him or her? Is it really that crucial? I can't help but wonder everytime I think of these questions every time I think of lost loved ones. Ask yourself how would you feel if you were surrounded in dirt six feet beneath the surface?
My heart goes out to the Innocent; those individuals lost by the hand of a drunken driver, the scorned lover or angered shooter. I am not naive enough to hope for a perfect world, but I have enough
passion for life and a love for GOD that will allow me to hope and have faith that one day we will be able to not fear life because of the possiblity of someone else's inconsiderate actions.
As I lay here beneath the surface
I dwell on what was
The life I lived
The hearts that loved and longed for my presence
I cast not a curse on your name
Your life
Or your seed
But wish that you forever remember me
My last breath was at your hand
My last glipse of life was lost to your hate
A spirit unknown to you
And with my soul now traces your footsteps
I can only wish that I be the last
Make my memory your chance
Let us preserve
The Innocent
This was actually written in memory of Marsai Murray.
My heart goes out to the Innocent; those individuals lost by the hand of a drunken driver, the scorned lover or angered shooter. I am not naive enough to hope for a perfect world, but I have enough
passion for life and a love for GOD that will allow me to hope and have faith that one day we will be able to not fear life because of the possiblity of someone else's inconsiderate actions.
As I lay here beneath the surface
I dwell on what was
The life I lived
The hearts that loved and longed for my presence
I cast not a curse on your name
Your life
Or your seed
But wish that you forever remember me
My last breath was at your hand
My last glipse of life was lost to your hate
A spirit unknown to you
And with my soul now traces your footsteps
I can only wish that I be the last
Make my memory your chance
Let us preserve
The Innocent
This was actually written in memory of Marsai Murray.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
The Love Trials
In order to be able to effectively recognize and grow in love one must experience a series of trials and learning experiences in the form of lovers. Some people are just capable of accepting, delivering and recognizing love once. They have to discipline to stay and work on perfecting it. Others, like myself, learn from doing. The more you experience, the more you learn and with that the love timeline is developed. I just happen to believe that you will not find that one until you experience the following:
THE FIRST LOVE
The first love is the one you laid eyes on and knew you had to have, or you were caught off guard by the connection you uncontrollably developed. In most cases he/she is the first crush or first lust. That individual you develop your first connection with. You gain confidence in yourself and in your relationship. You become comfortable. You build on likes and dislikes, but the connection of the soul is never developed. This is your introduction to love, being in love is still foreign.
THE LESSON
Usually the first encounters are ridiculous. You are embarrassed or he/she is nothing that you wanted ever. But that one day you looked into their eyes and something about them melted you away. You wanted to give it a chance and you did, so you learned and grew in love with them. The person that you bared much pain, put up with much and learned nothing until he/she was gone. During this relationship you loved hard, but you loved wrong. Still played by insecurities, could not love what you saw, always wanted to changed something. Settled for much because you began to believe true love would never come. The lesson occurs post relationship; kind of like an epiphany. Light bulb goes off and you are over them. No longer attracted to the individual. Some people become friends with this individual, but most often they have the greatest affect. It was because of them you found your place in and with love.
HEART BREAKER
This person is usually the individual that you gave the most to. You loved hard, gave your all and the two of you either did not see eye to eye or you allowed your feelings to guide. Love is blind here. You heard what you wanted, believed what you wanted skewed you perception of reality. With the heart breaker you are naive. All that you expected is all that you would never receive. You long for all that you were not willing to give. This in turn lead to heartbreak. You are sadden because you gave your all (or thought you gave your all) and got nothing in return. In some cases you may even experience great shame. So, you decide to turn hurt into hatred to get over 'em. But, they still affect you however, because every time you encounter this person your mind and body want them still, but your heart and soul divert. So you know even though they still touch you in a way, you know it will NEVER work. You decide that there is no need to experience HEARTBREAK twice.
THE TEST
This individual made you vulnerable to fast. You feel in love because your mind allowed you to believe that you were on the same page. The only thing is, you were in it alone. It started out great, thought you had it all figured out. Blamed yourself for that persons actions, experienced a great deal of reverse psychology. Never what you expected, just happened and when it happened it was so good that you thought they were the ONE. Not really! Just a facade because this person usually uses you in the TEST the way you used the THE LESSON to bounce back from THE FIRST LOVE. THE TEST is just to show you how it feels.
THE SOUL MATE
One look in the eyes, that subtle touch, "me toos" and soul tunes on the same station. Love like nothing you would ever think you would experience, fairy tail shit. Unselfishly you gave and expected nothing in return. It's so funny how easy love turns to being in love and you did not force it. This person is the ONE, for lack of a better term. This person is someone you encountered when you are mentally ready to embark on the journey. You lived hard and loved harder; you learned and longed for this individual so you vowed that when you found them that you would do right. No one could make you harm this person. There was no one that would stand in the way. This is that person whom makes you warm, soft, and emotional. Love made perfect, and you love all the imperfections. Feel heat even when you here them pissing...Its real. The MATE for the SOUL; all loves trials have unfold your true destiny. And now all the tales every told about being in love, make sense.
THE FIRST LOVE
The first love is the one you laid eyes on and knew you had to have, or you were caught off guard by the connection you uncontrollably developed. In most cases he/she is the first crush or first lust. That individual you develop your first connection with. You gain confidence in yourself and in your relationship. You become comfortable. You build on likes and dislikes, but the connection of the soul is never developed. This is your introduction to love, being in love is still foreign.
THE LESSON
Usually the first encounters are ridiculous. You are embarrassed or he/she is nothing that you wanted ever. But that one day you looked into their eyes and something about them melted you away. You wanted to give it a chance and you did, so you learned and grew in love with them. The person that you bared much pain, put up with much and learned nothing until he/she was gone. During this relationship you loved hard, but you loved wrong. Still played by insecurities, could not love what you saw, always wanted to changed something. Settled for much because you began to believe true love would never come. The lesson occurs post relationship; kind of like an epiphany. Light bulb goes off and you are over them. No longer attracted to the individual. Some people become friends with this individual, but most often they have the greatest affect. It was because of them you found your place in and with love.
HEART BREAKER
This person is usually the individual that you gave the most to. You loved hard, gave your all and the two of you either did not see eye to eye or you allowed your feelings to guide. Love is blind here. You heard what you wanted, believed what you wanted skewed you perception of reality. With the heart breaker you are naive. All that you expected is all that you would never receive. You long for all that you were not willing to give. This in turn lead to heartbreak. You are sadden because you gave your all (or thought you gave your all) and got nothing in return. In some cases you may even experience great shame. So, you decide to turn hurt into hatred to get over 'em. But, they still affect you however, because every time you encounter this person your mind and body want them still, but your heart and soul divert. So you know even though they still touch you in a way, you know it will NEVER work. You decide that there is no need to experience HEARTBREAK twice.
THE TEST
This individual made you vulnerable to fast. You feel in love because your mind allowed you to believe that you were on the same page. The only thing is, you were in it alone. It started out great, thought you had it all figured out. Blamed yourself for that persons actions, experienced a great deal of reverse psychology. Never what you expected, just happened and when it happened it was so good that you thought they were the ONE. Not really! Just a facade because this person usually uses you in the TEST the way you used the THE LESSON to bounce back from THE FIRST LOVE. THE TEST is just to show you how it feels.
THE SOUL MATE
One look in the eyes, that subtle touch, "me toos" and soul tunes on the same station. Love like nothing you would ever think you would experience, fairy tail shit. Unselfishly you gave and expected nothing in return. It's so funny how easy love turns to being in love and you did not force it. This person is the ONE, for lack of a better term. This person is someone you encountered when you are mentally ready to embark on the journey. You lived hard and loved harder; you learned and longed for this individual so you vowed that when you found them that you would do right. No one could make you harm this person. There was no one that would stand in the way. This is that person whom makes you warm, soft, and emotional. Love made perfect, and you love all the imperfections. Feel heat even when you here them pissing...Its real. The MATE for the SOUL; all loves trials have unfold your true destiny. And now all the tales every told about being in love, make sense.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Stop Tryin...
Some people think they can and will understand everything. That to me is a bit farfetched. I happen to feel that there are a great deal of things that we will be unable to comprehend until we are ready to allow ourselves to face the truths that come with understanding.
The way I piece together my words sometimes you think you have it or me figured out and you don't even know what I am saying. I mean he is not always actual, love is always factual because I live by, with and through it, but the struggle is not always mine. I want you all to get the message and not try to read me. My mind is so complex hell sometimes I dont even get me, but that is life. I make due with what I am at any given moment.
I ask that you stop trying...I mean really just stop trying to understand me and comprehend the words. Interpret them as they speak to you, let your heart be heard. I am sure as you read something stirs, so you can do either one of two things, (1) you ignore the rational to hear what you have already deemed appropriate or accurate or (2) take it as it is given. Make the situation your own and apply the situation to your story. In order to understand me, you have to you have to understand you! Whatever comes to mind when you read the lines, take that and make it your own. And then, let me know how it moves you!
I want to here from you...
The way I piece together my words sometimes you think you have it or me figured out and you don't even know what I am saying. I mean he is not always actual, love is always factual because I live by, with and through it, but the struggle is not always mine. I want you all to get the message and not try to read me. My mind is so complex hell sometimes I dont even get me, but that is life. I make due with what I am at any given moment.
I ask that you stop trying...I mean really just stop trying to understand me and comprehend the words. Interpret them as they speak to you, let your heart be heard. I am sure as you read something stirs, so you can do either one of two things, (1) you ignore the rational to hear what you have already deemed appropriate or accurate or (2) take it as it is given. Make the situation your own and apply the situation to your story. In order to understand me, you have to you have to understand you! Whatever comes to mind when you read the lines, take that and make it your own. And then, let me know how it moves you!
I want to here from you...
Monday, February 1, 2010
Funny how things change...
So, I told myself over and over and over again that I was focused. Focused on me now. I couldn't, I wouldn't let anyone deter me from the goal...a better me. But it's so funny how things change. It is so funny how emotions and feelings have a way of creeping in. And I, woman first, and me second, have no choice but to allow them to guide. I am feelings and they are the basis of my pride, or the lack there of. I wish I could battle it. I wish I had the heart of metal to conquer it, but it feels too damn good. I can help this. I want him more now. More than I would ever allow myself to show. I crave him now and so I hold back more. I can't believe this shit. I can't believe he did, or is doing a number on me. FUCK! What now? I guess I have to swallow the pride and let love guide, better yet...
I want you more now
And I didn't know how to express this shit
You want more of me so you never quit
You make it known where your heart sits
I hear the sighs
I want to whisper them away
I never told you
But if you want to make this work
I won't stray
I swear at this point
It's working in your favor
All insecurities
Any jealousy
I long to comfort it
I will take you to a place
They will never exist
I want to be the company that you feel is heaven sent
And
It's so hard to put words on this
It's so inexplicable
As our hearts yearn
To eliminate the distance
We want to relate
And I want you to stay
Yet
I still have fear of it
I hope all goes well
Because
At this point
I can't turn back
I want to make forever with you prevalent
Let’s just hope your presence is dominant
May they fade away
And
You become prominent
And damn it's funny how
Just yesterday
I longed to
Be me
Love me
And let love pass me
To be more focused on me
But maybe it's time
And if that is what it is
I accept it
So
I will allow love
If it's meant
And I hope it is
Because it's so funny how
Yesterday I wasn't
And today I am having trouble fighting it
Sometimes all that I can not say, my poems say for me. I just wish that today could be the future and yesterday history. Life has its pace and God has his will; but I just want to make you feel, the way I do in the absence of all that is physical.
Can you relate?
I want you more now
And I didn't know how to express this shit
You want more of me so you never quit
You make it known where your heart sits
I hear the sighs
I want to whisper them away
I never told you
But if you want to make this work
I won't stray
I swear at this point
It's working in your favor
All insecurities
Any jealousy
I long to comfort it
I will take you to a place
They will never exist
I want to be the company that you feel is heaven sent
And
It's so hard to put words on this
It's so inexplicable
As our hearts yearn
To eliminate the distance
We want to relate
And I want you to stay
Yet
I still have fear of it
I hope all goes well
Because
At this point
I can't turn back
I want to make forever with you prevalent
Let’s just hope your presence is dominant
May they fade away
And
You become prominent
And damn it's funny how
Just yesterday
I longed to
Be me
Love me
And let love pass me
To be more focused on me
But maybe it's time
And if that is what it is
I accept it
So
I will allow love
If it's meant
And I hope it is
Because it's so funny how
Yesterday I wasn't
And today I am having trouble fighting it
Sometimes all that I can not say, my poems say for me. I just wish that today could be the future and yesterday history. Life has its pace and God has his will; but I just want to make you feel, the way I do in the absence of all that is physical.
Can you relate?
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
2010: One year ago today.........
One year ago today I witnessed the United States of America evolve in a great way. We can go nowhere else but up.
Please look back at my post titled "Presidential Inauguration 2009" as I reflect on that moment in history.
I promise it is timeless.
One Love
Please look back at my post titled "Presidential Inauguration 2009" as I reflect on that moment in history.
I promise it is timeless.
One Love
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