I CAN'T HELP IT!

I can't help but be vulnerable to love. I can't help that despite the fact that I was developed with the capacity to restrain myself from enduring the confusion and the hurt brought by man, I refuse to allow that to keep me from loving. And he refused to allow confusion keep me from him. He said one thing but would show me another. He said he wouldn't care if I left, but he thinks about me in my absence. Continuously allows me in; into his world, even after I hurt him. Regardless of what he says, when you wholeheartedly do not want someone to be apart of your life you omit them. I did the same thing with someone else and I don't think about him; won't answer when he calls or entertain him. It is over, moved on from him. But if there was an ounce of hope that once I cleared my confusion, I would want him, he would still be here. And I would always accept the love given by him. Because he is real. Those who we hurt and still linger show us that the love is real. And once you get your mind right, you will spend the rest of your life making it up to them; because you knew where to turn when you were in search of...True and innocent it is; the love they have for you. And that is where I am...lingering. Hoping he will disperse the confusion lingering amongst his sight. Not his eye sight, but love sight. Guided by feelings not vision; allowing them to show him it's ok to live through his hearts desire. Free of fear. Not just calling on it when it is convenient; but willing to accept it even when it's difficult. So again I say, I can't help it. And I don't want to. I love him and this feeling is remarkable. A fool I am but willing to admit; moving on is easy when you are ready for it. I am not. I can't help loving him. I try to see the positive and even that is not enough to get me through. Why can't we recognize sincerity? Why mock it or mistreat it? No good reason or explanation besides selfishness. And even in that instance, I can't help it. I selfishly want to endure a love that can't possibly exist. His love for me is intangible; to far from his grasp. And there it will stay until he is willing to reach for it. There I linger because I refuse to help it.