My Muse

He, my muse, not only a phenomenal man, but someone I'd never thought I would ever encounter. And he feels good. He embraces my creativity and lives loving me. I was and still am inspired by him; I really couldn't see it initially, but when he was lost so was my drive. Our connection was through much more than a phone line. All of my charisma froze up. I was that Icebox that Omarion sung about. But I was so hung up on ignoring the fact that he was not there, not giving his absence much focus, that I lost sight of my passion, my love for this craft, my drive, and it sucked too. My words where stale and forced. Meaningless............So I called him again, I needed my muse. Once I realized the trauma he caused I broke down and called. My work was suffering so I gave in to love because he gave my work meaning, he gave my poems depth and my lyrics soul, and I missed it. I missed him, and now that he is back and I am filled with love and stories to fill the diary whose pages were emptied in his absence. For instance, this is the work he influences, the poems he encourages. No words he has spoken, just is presence and desire to be here and fight to get better makes this come to me with ease. I hope you enjoy because its the LoVe/HaTe we share that got me here and I have to tell of our affair.


So I wrote in my diary
In reverse
With hope to break the curse
Of hate and love
I hold for you
Because
I hate to love you
But I got to
Cause no man makes me feel the same as you
No matter what
We cannot leave
Neither of us has the courage to say bye to destiny
So we just become
Like that boomerang
Returning over and over and over again
A story that never ends
No matter how much pain we inflict
No matter how stubborn we get
Love is lost
Only temporarily
Until our eyes meet
And embrace defeats
The barriers
Love so deep we can't hide it
So others witness
What we got
That TV shit
Thought it was fake
Until we got bit
Again, and again, and again
Reminded that fate always wins
And our past is erased
Clean slate
Yet we return
To the bullshit
And we live accepting it
Cause that's how we relate
Until one of us breaks
This curse
That had the pages
In my diary
A blur
Never clear
Or understandable again until one of us accepts
That we
Are soul mates